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《我的心只悲伤七次》自由

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于是一个辩士说,请给我们谈自由。

他回答说:

在城门边,在炉火光前,我曾看见你们俯伏敬拜自己的“自由”,

甚至于像那些囚奴,在诛戮他们的暴君之前卑屈,颂赞。

噫,在庙宇的林中,在城堡的影里,我曾看见你们中之最自由者,把自由像枷铐似的戴上。

我心里忧伤,因为只有那求自由的愿望也成了羁饰,你们再不以自由为标杆、为成就的时候,你们才是自由了。

当你们的白日不是没有牵挂,你们的黑夜也不是没有愿望与忧愁的时候,你们才是自由了。

不如说是当那些事物包围住你的生命,而你却能赤裸地无牵挂地超腾的时候,你们才是自由了。

但若不是在你们了解的晓光中,折断了捆绑你们昼气的锁链,你们怎能超脱你们的白日和黑夜呢?

实话说,你们所谓的自由,就是最坚牢的锁链,虽然那链环闪烁在日光中,炫耀了你们的眼目。

“自由”岂不是你们自身的碎片?你们愿意将它抛弃换得自由么?

假如那是你们所要废除的一条不公平的法律,那法律却是你们用自己的手写在自己的额上的。

你们虽烧毁你们的律书,倾全海的水来冲洗你们法官的额,也不能把它抹掉。

假如那是个你们所要废黜的暴君,先看他的建立在你心中的宝座是否毁坏。

因为一个暴君怎能辖制自由和自尊的人呢?除非他们自己的自由是专制的,他们的自尊是可羞的。

假如那是一种你们所要抛掷的牵挂,那牵挂是你自取的,不是别人勉强给你的。

假如那是一种你们所要消灭的恐怖,那恐怖的座位是在你的心中,而不在你所恐怖的人的手里。

真的,一切在你里面运行的事物,愿望与恐怖,憎恶与爱怜,追求与退避,都是永恒地互抱着。

这些事物在你里面运行,如同光明与黑影成对地胶粘着。

当黑影消灭的时候,遗留的光明又变成另一种光明的黑影。这样,当你们的自由脱去它的镣铐的时候,它本身又变成更大的自由的镣铐了。

14

On Freedom

And an orator said, "Speak to us of Freedom."

And he answered:

At the city gate and by your fireside I have seen you prostrate yourself and worship your own freedom,

Even as slaves humble themselves before a tyrant and praise him though he slays them.

Ay, in the grove of the temple and in the shadow of the citadel I have seen the freest among you wear their freedom as a yoke and a handcuff.

And my heart bled within me; for you can only be free when even the desire of seeking freedom becomes a harness to you, and when you cease to speak of freedom as a goal and a fulfillment.

You shall be free indeed when your days are not without a care nor your nights without a want and a grief,

But rather when these things girdle your life and yet you rise above them naked and unbound.

■ 人生的一切都是美好的,甚至连金钱也是一样,因为它会给人们以教益。

■ 一个羞赧的失败比一个骄傲的成功还要高贵。

And how shall you rise beyond your days and nights unless you break the chains which you at the dawn of your understanding have fastened around your noon hour?

In truth that which you call freedom is the strongest of these chains, though its links glitter in the sun and dazzle the eyes.

And what is it but fragments of your own self you would discard that you may become free?

If it is an unjust law you would abolish, that law was written with your own hand upon your own forehead.

You cannot erase it by burning your law books nor by washing the foreheads of your judges, though you pour the sea upon them.

And if it is a despot you would dethrone, see first that his throne erected within you is destroyed.

For how can a tyrant rule the free and the proud, but for a tyranny in their own freedom and a shame in their won pride?

And if it is a care you would cast off, that care has been chosen by you rather than imposed upon you.

And if it is a fear you would dispel, the seat of that fear is in your heart and not in the hand of the feared.

Verily all things move within your being in constant half embrace, the desired and the dreaded, the repugnant and the cherished, the pursued and that which you would escape.

These things move within you as lights and shadows in pairs that cling.

And when the shadow fades and is no more, the light that lingers becomes a shadow to another light.

And thus your freedom when it loses its fetters becomes itself the fetter of a greater freedom.